by Alex
God is arranging my marriage!
1:12 am in Bible Thoughts by Alex
We have different types of relationships with everyone we meet or know. Friends, acquaintances, people we don’t like, crushes, family- the list goes on and on. We also have relationships with guys (and for guys, with girls.) Now I have a special way of looking at dating. I believe God is writing my life story and with that, he’s writing a chapter on love. I have no idea where that chapter is in the book though! I might have already met my future husband and not known it. What better match than one God has thought up?
Right now, personally, I’m not dating anyone. When I get lonely (which, I’ll admit, is often), I remember that I also have a relationship with God. Until I meet the guy I’ll marry, God is filling the hole in my heart meant especially for my future husband. And I have a long list of requirements for this man. He must be a strong Christian, respectful, and polite. He must have a sense of humor and humility. Being adventurous and spontaneous wouldn’t hurt either. These are just a few of the qualities I think my husband should have. However, God knows what I need best, so these might not be the things I need in a partner. What I want most is to be stand next to him in church and have him lead me in prayer. I think every Christian girl wants these same basic things, so guys pay attention.
God has a man who is perfect for me waiting. God is arranging my marriage, and what can be better than someone who knows everything about you, arranging your marriage? That’s the reason I’ve chosen not to have sex till I’m married. The Bible says that once you have sex, you give a part of yourself to that guy. In return that guy (or gal) gives a part of himself/herself to you. I want to be able to give my whole self to my future husband, in return I expect him to give his whole self to me. Then, as the Bible says, we will become one.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:13, “…the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
We have to honor God with our bodies. He would not look happily upon us if we have sex before marriage! Are you willing to give only PART of yourself to your husband? Do you want him to give you only PART of himself? So don’t waste yourself on someone who doesn’t matter. The ones who don’t matter are the ones you won’t marry. Trust God. He will have the perfect husband waiting for you and me at the exact right time. God will guide and direct us.
Isaiah 26:3 says “You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”
In the meantime, ladies, the Bible says not to tempt your brothers in Christ. Be modest. Do not dress “sexy”, because you want to help guard the boy’s hearts. It says in Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a women to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
If you wear revealing clothes, guys will think about you in a bad way. Yes they will notice you, but it won’t be the right kind of attention. Do you really want to be a woman who helps them commit adultery? Because that’s what you’re doing, since they would not think about you in a bad way if you dress humbly and understated. Now I’m not saying you should dress like your grandma! But don’t show unnecessary skin either! Meet somewhere in the middle! If you do this, eventually the guy God dreamed for you to be with forever will notice you. Have faith.
- Alex
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Alex, the things that you said are exactly what im dealing with and this was very encouraging
Thanks
You’re very welcome! I’m just happy to be able to help in any small way! Keep the faith!
Great thoughts Alex. I especially liked it when you said “In the meantime, ladies, the Bible says not to tempt your brothers in Christ. Be modest. Do not dress “sexy”, because you want to help guard the boy’s hearts. It says in Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a women to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.””
We need more ladies telling their friends this!
I prayed for you today that thre right man would come in your path at the right time.
I cant say that a lot of this blog resonates with me personally, because I agree with the religions that see sexuality as a thing to be enjoyed as long as it is safe and consensual but I do have a question.
Is it only women who must take care with dress and action not to arouse men or must men dress in a certain way, as well, as to not inflame the lust of women?
Thank you Justin! I really appreciate it!
To Myles– The reason I say that women, especially, should not dress in such a way as to not tempt the boys is because women have to be extra careful with that sort of thing. Men struggle more with it. It’s a women’s job to make sure she doesn’t make it harder for them and vice versa with men. I think guys should dress modestly too, its just not as difficult for girls to control their thoughts. Did that answer your question?
Why do you think that men have a harder time struggling with sexuality than women? I know this probably not what you intended to convey but it reminds me of the “boys will be boys” mentality that puts extra burden on women.
I know that you said that you think that men should dress modestly as well but in practice arent societies standards very different regarding what is considered modest for a man and modest for a woman? A man can mow the lawn in nothing but tennis shoes and shorts without being labeled as immoral while a woman suffers exponentially more stigma for showing a bit of her back or thighs. This is taken to the extreme in some cultures where it is considered immodest for a woman to merely show her face in public, having to hide behind a veil.
Throughout history women’s sexuality has to often been subject to the control and distortion of men. Often they have been portrayed as completely lacking in sexual desire or, on the other end of the spectrum, considered a wanton, oversexualised harlot and a temptation to men.
While I respect your beliefs regarding how you will conduct your own sexuality it concerns me to hear more disparity regarding what is appropriate behavior for men and for women.
I only said that it was harder for men because men are more visual than women. Sociaty’s standards are extremly differant regarding what is considered modest for men verses what is considered modest for women. I totally agree with you on that point. It’s not fair. However Christians are not called to act as the world acts. The same goes for the way to dress. We can’t dress to the standards of sociaty because they are messed up! God calls us to a higher standard because we are Believers.
Actually the theory that men are more visually oriented that women is a under dispute.
Read this article.
http://sexuality.about.com/b/2006/06/19/new-brain-research-challenges-the-myth-that-men-are-more-visual-than-women.htm
Thanks for commenting Myles! I enjoy “talking” with you. But you got that from about.com. Which is soooo not a reputable source. And anyway its under dispute; that dosen’t actually mean its been disproven.
The study was reported on by about.com but the original research was cited.
And of course dispute means just that. It is disputed. There is no consensus that men are more viusal than women.
I just think it is interesting how what is considered modest is such a product of culture. If you lived a 100 years ago you would probably think that it was immodest to show your ankles, like most women of the time felt.
I just wanted to give a feminist critique of any system that allows more freedom to men, in dress and behavior than it accords women.
I understand what you were trying to do and I totally appreciate it. Thanks for commenting Myles!
You are very welcome Alex. I was wondering what you, as a Christian woman, felt about the concept of feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist? Do you think that the movement(s) had a positive influence on current thought?
Here is a good article that addresses the issue: http://www.gotquestions.org/feminism-Christian-feminist.html
Alex,
Great post. I am a witness that God will arrange your marriage. I met my wife at my church, we were engaged in a MONTH without dating, and married about 6 months later. By the grace of God, we were both kept until marriage. We are old school and wed in the 1930′s, we were married in 2006. If God can do it for us in today’s society, he can do it for you.
Myles– I think that in certian things feminism is a great thing! I love playing sports and if this was 30 or 40 years ago I wouldn’t be able to. I don’t think feminism is a good thing when people take it to the extreme. I think it had both a positve and negitive influance on sociaty and thought.
Alex,
Im happy that you find worth in the term and I agree that an extremist ideaology can be a dangerous thing.
Justin,
Do you agree with the article that feminism is inherently a bad thing? Surely you dont have a problem with some of the goals that feminism has acheived such as the right for women to vote and equal pay for men and women.
Myles, here are some quotes from the article that help answer that question.
“Feminism was originally a positive movement, focused on giving women the basic rights God intends for every human being to have. Tragically, feminism has gone past those roots to focus on destroying any trace of a distinction in roles between men and women.”
I agree with the article that the goals of equal rights are good.
The article goes on…
“There is only one race—the human race! Within that race are male and female, different ethnicities, different colors, and different national origins. It is sin in the heart that causes inequality. It is sin in the heart that causes men to treat women in ways that are meant to demean. It is sin that sets one person above another. And it is sin that seeks to use counterfeit solutions to counteract these inequalities.”
I believe, like this article, that is a sinful desire that has people want to put one person above another. Modern feminism often goes past the goals of equality however.
What are some of the modern goals of feminism tbat you disagree with?
Abortion is one example.
And equality means no distinction… as in no distinction in how women are treated compared to men.
And when feminism goes the opposite way and starts degrading males (this is generalizing, but see for example how males are portrayed in TV commercials).
I don’t agree with those parts.
Marshall Jones Jr.
Modern feminism is often the wrong solution to a real problem: the unequal treatment of women.
I can understand that you disagree with some issues that modern feminism generally espouses, like reproductive rights for women. But i dont see what is inherently wrong with the movement(s). The term ‘feminist’ covers a wide range of idealogies(there are pro life feminists)
In my opinion the only issue that makes a philosophy feminist is the belief that both genders should be treated equally by society.
If we simply say that feminism is where both genders are treated fairly and have the same opportunities, then I would generally agree.